My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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