Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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