Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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