I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
