my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You dont lie about slip and slides
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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