if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Randomize
