what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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