i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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