if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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