You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
