i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Please, let me fuck your mom
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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