you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
