I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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