Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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