I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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