i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I need a beard to bite.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
