i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
