no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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