so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
