Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
