A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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