I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
