I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
