So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
