Having a random hookup so left but love u
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
