If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Randomize
