maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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