Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
And then my night got REAL pukey
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
