Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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