Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
