if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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