You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
