So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Randomize
