Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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