i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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