If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
