you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
