i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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