I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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