Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
