Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize
