Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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