He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize