Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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