I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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