ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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