Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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