just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
