It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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