Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
