Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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