Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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