My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
