her vagina looked like bernie madoff
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize